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Why the mother son relationship is important (+ 17 Mother Son Date Ideas!)

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The mother son relationship is such a special thing. Being able to spend quality time with your son no matter how old he is, is a great privilege. That is why mother son dates are so vital. They give you an opportunity to properly bond with your son without other people around. Find some excellent mother son date ideas in this article. You will also find some relevant mother son quotes littered throughout this page.

First though, let us take a closer look at what a mother son relationship should be about. How do you identify a good or positive mother son relationship?

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What is a positive mother son relationship?

“Mothers are inscrutable beings to their sons, always.” – A.E. Coppard

The typical mother son relationship changes from childhood through to adolescence and then in adulthood as well. You might find that the way it changes differs culturally and geographically. 

The mother son relationship may also differ from family to family depending on the son’s temperament during childhood. Studies have found that a child’s temperament can affect how warm the mother son relationship is in childhood and adolescence.

As it is the child that is shaped by his environment and situation, we can say that a positive mother son relationship results from a mother’s loving, constructive and positive responses to her son regardless of how difficult a temperament he has. 

Of course, this is easier said than done when a mother is dealing with a child who is facing especially difficult developmental challenges. Particularly when the mother is not well-equipped to deal with those challenges.

Generally though, there are certain things that we can say every son needs from his mother in order to form the basis for a positive mother son relationship. 

What does every son need from his mother?

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“Mother is her son’s first god. She must teach him the most important lesson of all – how to love.” – T. F. Hodge

What a son needs from his mother will change at each stage of his life. However, the following 14 are constant throughout most of a son’s life:

  1. Unconditional love. Above all else and regardless of how badly a son may behave, it is important that he knows that his mother loves him.
  2. Acknowledgment. A son should feel seen by his mother.  
  3. Warmth. This is necessary for a son to know that he has a real relationship with his mother. It is easy to doubt someone’s love and affection if you do not feel any warmth from them.

“A boy’s best friend is his mother.” – Joseph Stefano

  1. Respect. There should be mutual respect between a mother and son. 
  2. Responsiveness. When a son tries to communicate with their mom, they need to have that communication reciprocated. 
  3. Patience. Moms need to make sure their sons know that they will allow them time and are willing to wait for them.  
  4. Interest. A son should be able to tell that their mom is truly interested in them and in their lives. 
  5. Approval. Regardless of what is going on in your son’s life, there will be things about them that you approve of. Pick those things out and explicitly express your approval. 
  6. Encouragement. Moms should be their sons’ biggest supporters. 
  7. Presence. A son wants his mom to not just be around but to be present as well.  

“You count the hours you could have spent with your mother. It’s a lifetime in itself.” – Mitch Albom

  1. Constructive criticism. Moms should be able to provide criticism in a useful way so that their sons are not left feeling torn down but rather with feedback that they can use to become better people.
  2. Trust. There must be mutual trust between mother and son for them to have a good relationship. Much like any other relationship.
  3. Physical affection. Hugs and kisses are appreciated both ways throughout the life cycle of a mother son relationship. Healthy physical affection is a great expression of the love between mother and son.
  4. Freedom to strive for independence. A mother should allow her son the freedom to be himself; to explore the world and become his own person – discover his own likes and dislikes.

“I want my son to become aware that he is in charge of the choices he makes, and it’s good to make thoughtful, good choices.” – Karen Salmansohn

If you are a mom reading this, you might think that this is a tough list to strive for all at once. Do not underestimate your love for your son. That unconditional love at no. 1 is strong enough to produce all the other 14.

“And of course, as a son I would say this, she was the best mum in the world. She smothered us with love, that’s for sure.” – Prince Harry

It is important to be conscious of your relationship with your son as that relationship affects society as a whole.

READ: Family – A Son’s Experience

son from black family
Photo by Etty Fidele on Unsplash

Why is the mother son relationship so important to society?

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A son’s relationship with his mom is the first relationship he has with a female. It gives him his first and lasting impression of what women are like, what they do not like, and how to treat women.

“I’m glad we’ve begun to raise our daughters more like our sons –but it will never work until we raise our sons more like our daughters” – Gloria Steinem

Sons’ relationships with their moms help to shape their expectations and perceptions of the women around them, and therefore, of all women in society.

This is why it is healthy and almost necessary for moms to spwnd quality time with their sons. Their sons get to learn more about their moms, and in the process, more about women. It helps to clear up misconceptions about women that the media and society can create. 

A way for moms to have quality time with their sons is with mother son dates.

Mother son dates give you the opportunity to ask each other questions, make each other feel appreciated, delve deeper into different topics and laugh together.

Where can I take my son on a date?

Mother son date ideas
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Here are some mother son date ideas that might work for you and your son. Depending on your son’s age, family set up and resources, some will be easier to organize than others.

  1. Hiking
  2. Go to sport events 
  3. Get dinner
  4. Go camping
  5. Go to the movies
  6. Museum visit
  7. Go fruit picking
  8. Take an art class
  9. Go fishing
  10. Visit a farm
  11. Take on a project
  12. Road trip
  13. Bake 
  14. Set up a picnic
  15. Go swimming
  16. Mini golf
  17. Zoo visit

Look at each activity as a chance for you to spend time together. Whether either of you think you will enjoy the activity or not, the aim is to do something together. If your son enjoys it, that is of course a plus! However, you will find that just realizing that you want to spend some dedicated time with him will make his day. 

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