Hi, my name is Abby and I am an introvert mom. If you think it’s something I should be working on, then you need to read this.
What is your idea of who an introvert is?
An introvert is someone who frequently requires alone time to re-energize themselves. That’s my definition. The Oxford Learners Dictionary defines an introvert as “a quiet person who is more interested in their own thoughts and feelings than in spending time with other people”. As an introvert myself, I give that definition a big, fat thumbs down. That is far too basic a definition of introverts and perpetuates commonly held misconceptions.
4 Misconceptions about Introverts
1. Introverts are selfish
We’re only as selfish as any other personality type can be. If we’re smart though, we will be selfish with our time and space. That’s the only way you’ll get the best of us. We need that time and space to recharge so that we’ll have lots of positive energy to spread around.
2. Introverts are quiet
Yes, some of us are but this is not true for every single introvert. There are some introverts who will talk your ear off…but only for a certain amount of time. They’ll run out of steam quickly.
3. Introverts do not like to have fun
We do. We like to have fun as much as the next person. We like to let our hair down and go crazy sometimes. Just not for too long. We do not like to lose every little bit of control and have no recollection of anything the next morning. That’s too much. Times like that are few and far between for introverts; but yes, they do occur.
4. Introverts have no friends
Introverts have friends. Their friend circle is likely to be quite tight but filled with highly dependable people who may or may not be related to them in some way. These friends are also likely to be people they’ve known for many years. Perhaps from childhood. They’ve experienced life-changing events with these friends and may have closer bonds with them than they do with family.
There is a lot of reading between the lines with us introverts!
Can introverts make good parents?
An introvert parent will face the same challenges as any other parent. They might relate a lot differently with their children from other parents. There isn’t only one way to parent. Arguably, and in some situations, introverted parents may need to remind themselves to communicate more with their children depending on what kinds of children they have. Introverted parents tend to analyse details by nature and may, as a consequence, over-analyse their parenting abilities. This leads to short bursts of questioning themselves. But which parent doesn’t question themselves at some point? We know that #momlife generally is filled with days of ups and downs and feeling confident one moment and completely despairing the next moment. And that’s regardless of your personality type!
There are interesting ways in which an introvert mom will make a wonderful parent.
7 Surprising benefits of being an introvert mom
1. You’re their calm in a storm
You are the stable force in their life that helps to centre them. The one they run to when things get too crazy in the world. They know you’ll provide them with the calm they need when the world is roughing them up.
2. It takes a lot to get you to explode
Your balanced disposition (even if only on the outside) means that it takes a bit more to get you to the point of blowing up on your children. You’ll tolerate more for longer. This is a great personality trait to have with children of any age.
3. Without trying, you teach them to like their own company
They see you enjoying your “me time” and this teaches them that it’s good to do the same. Yes, even your more extroverted children will learn from you that there’s value in spending time with yourself or with small groups of people who really matter.
4. Mom shaming hits you differently
It does not necessarily upset you the way that it would other moms who are more extroverted. You’re not as affected by others’ opinions. Your independent way of thinking means that, depending on the comment or the occasion, mom shaming will either make you determined to stick to your guns even more on an issue or do the very opposite of what your mom shamer tells you to do. Unless it’s to the detriment of your child.
5. You teach your children to be revolutionary
As a consequence of your independent nature, you show your children how important it is to be true to yourself and your values. You teach them to stand their ground on the things that matter. That is a quality that is becoming more rare with time but is vital for making the world a better place.
6. You understand your child’s personality like no one else
You’re so in tune with your child’s moods and their responses to different situations. That’s because you’re quiet enough to truly observe them when you have the opportunity to do so. You also listen very well when they speak to you and you are able to read between the lines to get to the root of what makes them tick.
7. You teach them to be creative
This is yet another result of your independent nature. You model creativity for your children as you show them the ways in which you come up with innovative ideas. Your mind works in a different way as you don’t like to follow the rules if they do not work for you. It’s healthy and refreshing for your children to see this and know that it’s okay and often even beneficial to think outside the box.
Are you an introvert mom? Do any of these awesome qualities describe you?