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Why does my husband hate me all of a sudden?

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Why does my husband hate me? This is a real question that some wives may be asking themselves right now. Are you one of them? Even when your husband says he loves you, you might be seeing signs that he hates you. Below, we will look at some of the signs your husband hates you and most importantly, what you can do when your husband hates you. 

READ: How to identify and deal with emotional neglect in marriage

7 Signs your husband hates you 

How do you know if your husband hates you? Here are some signs. If you are experiencing any of the following with your husband, it is possible that the romantic love is gone from your relationship. 

  1. Picking unnecessary fights. Your arguments are usually started by him over the silliest things. 
  2. Not wanting to be seen with you. He will do anything and give any excuse to not take you along with him anywhere he goes. 
  3. Taking you for granted. He treats you like you will be there for him no matter how badly he chooses to treat you. He never takes your feelings into account. 
  4. Trying not to spend any quality time with you. If there is any time the two of you could spend alone, he will find something else he would rather be doing instead. 
  5. Irritation when you speak. One of the signs he hates you is that you find that it doesn’t really matter what you say. He finds it all annoying. He seems to hate the very sound of your voice. 
  6. Emotional and physical abuse. He had reached the point of showing you physically and emotionally how little he likes you. It could be anything from handling you roughly when speaking with you to being mean when speaking with you. 
  7. No interest in physical intimacy. It would seem that he would rather do anything than be physically intimate with you. 

From the above, you may conclude that your husband does indeed hate you. You must then be wondering why. It could be any number of reasons depending on your particular circumstances and history as a couple. However, three of the biggest reasons for this kind of behaviour are listed below. 

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Why does my husband hate me?

Please bear in mind that these are only three of the possible reasons. 

  1. Resentment. Could there be any reason why your husband feels resentful towards you? Does he believe that you have treated him unfairly and he is unable to get past that?
  2. Betrayal. Does your husband feel like you have broken his trust? Like you have been disloyal? 
  3. Extramarital affair. Is he spending time with someone else? Does he feel like being married to you is stopping him from being with the other person fully?

READ: 10 common marriage reconciliation mistakes to avoid after infidelity

10 common marriage reconciliation mistakes to avoid after infidelity

What to do when your husband hates you

Objectively consider doing the following:

  1. Is it all in your head? Think whether your perception of his feelings towards you is real or if you are imagining it. Use the 7 signs listed above as a starting point. 
  2. Trust your gut. Conversely, listen to your intuition. It can sometimes be more reliable than the most realistic signs (or lack thereof). You might find that none of the 7 signs above apply to you but your gut still says there is something wrong. 
  3. Open up the lines of communication. Talk to your husband frequently and non-confrontationally about the reasons why you think he hates you. Invite him to speak freely.  
  4. Be honest. Speak from your heart. It is the least you can do for yourself. Also, perhaps being so honest with him will encourage him to be honest with you. Do not forget to be honest with yourself as well about how your relationship is where it is. 
  5. Focus on yourself. Sometimes it is best to focus on yourself only. See if you are at fault and if so, how. Focus on improving yourself in and out of the relationship. 
  6. Put yourself in his shoes. Empathising can be hard to do when you think you are being treated unfairly. You should try to be empathetic though as it might give you insight into why your husband hates you. Your husband will also greatly appreciate you trying to put yourself in his shoes. 
  7. Be gentle. Go easy on yourself. Especially once you start to look within for answers, remember to be honest with yourself but not unkind. 
  8. Go back to the start. Perhaps your relationship just needs a refresh. Go back to the reasons why you got together in the first place. Remind yourselves of why you were once good together. 
  9. Get help from an impartial third party. Not just when all else fails, but from the start of your attempt to fix your relationship, it may be helpful to speak to a professional marriage counselor. If your husband is not willing to do this with you, it will still be beneficial to consult a therapist on your own as you could get the tools you need to navigate healing your relationship yourself. 

READ: The Right Time for Online Marriage Counseling

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Do you think your husband hates you? Are you interested in getting professional help to get your marriage back on track? 

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