I’ve written previously about some of the things that can put a mother down aka drive her crazy! I know I’m not alone in any of the points I expressed there and so I thought I’d put it to other moms to say how they dealt with different things that made them feel like they were losing it in the first few months of mommy life. They gave me some their first time mum tips for sanity.
Sanity-saving advice for FTMs
Stop saying “sorry” unless you truly need to. We’re programed to say “sorry” all the time. We say “sorry” instead of “I didn’t hear that.” We apologize constantly! Challenge yourself to say thank you instead of sorry whenever possible and see how different it feels. For example, change “Sorry I’m running late” to “thank you for waiting for me.”…
Do a “brain dump.” Set a timer for 5 minutes and just write whatever comes to mind. Don’t judge or censor yourself. Don’t read back over it. Rip it up, throw it in the trash, and let it go.
Ask for help. You don’t need to be everything and do everything. Ask for help if you need it!
Natasha of The Artisan Life
…constant questioning can make a breastfeeding mom question herself…It is your job to protect your partner from badgering that can undermine her confidence.I stopped telling my wife when my mom texted to worry about her exclusive breastfeeding. If someone is talking directly to your partner, kindly but assertively tell them that you need to change the topic of discussion because breastfeeding is non-negotiable for you…
An estimated 10-15% of women develop postpartum depression. It can be severe and have significant consequences for both mother and child, and it can affect anyone. Some risk factors may make ppd more likely, including inadequate social support and/or poor marital relations.
By supporting your partner and taking steps to support her breastfeeding, you can both improve her chances of breastfeeding successfully and help decrease her risk for ppd.
One of the simplest ways to beat stress is to introduce more laughter into your life. As a new mom, try to work on more of this to make the experience less tougher on you. Be around those that make you laugh, watch comedy shows and even fake a laugh- it works wonders on your
body and mind.
Elia of Conservamom
Drink water. I know you already feel like you are going to pass out from thirst every 2 minutes but the temptation to not bother drinking after you’ve had a baby (especially if you haven’t got someone else to get it for you) is strong when you’ve been up all night. Care for yourself enough to get water and keep a bottle near you at all times!
Cerys of Rainy Day Mum
Clean dishes and clothes are pretty essential but don’t sweat it if you suddenly stop vacuuming every week. People get it! Other things take priority.
But if it really bothers you, get some help. Partner, mum, sister, friend. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Most people are happy to feel needed and have a purpose while you adjust in those early weeks, or if you can afford it, hire a cleaner once a week to do those big jobs.
Holly of Simplify Create Inspire
Tiredness/overstimulation and reflux were Lennox’s two principle frustrations and when he was frustrated he gave off cues of being hungry. In all reality, he needed to sleep, or needed to soothe by sucking on his pacifier.
It will take some time to get to know your baby and understand his real signals, but if you think your baby is overstimulated or is experiencing reflux, try the eat, play, sleep method, it can do wonders.
Lorena of LorenaYLennox.com
Many a moment I wished away. Stopping to smell the roses was hard, but necessary. I focussed on those snuggles and cuddles, the teeny tiny improvements from one week to the next, the 3 night wakings instead of 5 and that incredible day when we only went through 3 outfits…
I got there and you will too. And you’re really not alone.
Sarah of Busy Blooming Joy
On stressing about baby’s sleep, Cindy of Living for the Sunshine advises:
Try not to stress toooo much about your baby’s sleep. Your baby is going to do what they want to do, and you cannot control it. I’m a control freak and this was a haaaaaard lesson for me to learn. You cannot control a baby.
It’s completely okay to ask visitors to call before popping by to see the baby. It seemed like every time I fell asleep, some well-intending relative was showing up to see my son.
While I love and appreciate them, it would have been greattttt to get a few minutes’ rest. Stand up for yourself and your needs. <3
Haley of Life with the Lingerfelts
Kristen of Joyfully Thriving
There will be times when you sit on the edge of your bed crying alongside your fussy baby, thinking that you’re just not cut out for this mom thing…But, mama, there will be times when you are holding your little baby in your arms and you can’t help but cry tears of love because you don’t know how you could love a little human so much. Those are tears of gratitude. You feel so utterly blessed that God has trusted YOU this precious gift, don’t you? In these blessed moments, don’t let that voice in that says you are not worthy. Because you are.
God doesn’t make mistakes.
Chelsea of Making Manzanita